Assertive Communication for Business Success
Assertive communication
Key factor for the success of your business venture
Communication is a crucial element in any relationship, whether personal or professional, close or casual. The way we communicate our thoughts and feelings can make a significant difference in how our counterpart reacts and responds. It can also determine whether we achieve the specific goal we are aiming for with that communication. Assertive communication is a key factor for the success of your business venture.
How many times have you felt frustrated because, when trying to express your thoughts or feelings to someone, the interaction ended in a fight or misunderstanding, or you remained silent, accepting conditions you didn't want?
It happens to all of us. Constantly. And when it frequently occurs in business relationships, it becomes a problem because it negatively impacts our chances of success.
When there is complete agreement between us and our counterpart, communication is generally simple, as we are all, so to speak, "on the same page," and consequently, there is no tension.
Tense Communications
Problems begin when there is tension between what both parties want—between what one party requests and what the other is willing to give, the procedures each considers appropriate, or the values each assumes should guide decisions.
When communication is tense, harmony and agreement break down. As a result, tension seeks resolution.
There are various ways to resolve tension, and not all lead to agreements where both parties are satisfied.
Resolving Tension in Communication
Aggressiveness: One way to resolve tension is through aggressiveness, such as verbally or even physically attacking the other person or trying to impose our viewpoint over theirs. Needless to say, this approach rarely leads to successful outcomes. It often results in a breakdown of the relationship.
Passivity: Another way is through passivity or submission, accepting the other party’s terms to avoid conflict. Unfortunately, while this approach avoids fights, it also prevents us from achieving our goals, as they become subordinate to others'. It often leads to delaying or changing our objectives.
Passive-Aggressiveness: A third way is through passive-aggressive behavior, such as avoiding direct confrontation but simultaneously resisting the other party's requests. In this way, we essentially sabotage the other person's goals without directly opposing them.
Assertiveness: The fourth approach is the only one that is healthy and effectively leads to achieving goals in an environment that allows satisfactory agreements. This is assertiveness. The good news is that assertiveness can be trained.
What is Assertiveness?
Assertiveness is defined as the ability to express your opinions without aggression or passivity—respecting others while also respecting your own thoughts. For example, this involves being kind to others while knowing how to say no to situations or proposals that do not satisfy you, do not lead to your goals, or do not align with your vision.
To communicate assertively, or to be assertive, we must achieve emotional control, learn to negotiate, and understand that we won't always win. It means actively seeking an agreement that allows both parties to achieve most of their objectives. This is why assertive communication is essential for increasing success.
It’s not about winning but about achieving mutual benefits.
If the tension is severe enough to make an agreement impossible—because the values or principles guiding each party are fundamentally different—being assertive means rejecting an offer or proposal without offending the other party's values or feeling guilty.
How to Train Assertive Communication to Enhance Business Success
Being assertive isn’t always easy. Moreover, it’s often not something we’ve learned or that comes naturally to us. The good news is that assertiveness can be learned and practiced to improve.
Assertive behavior is rooted in self-esteem and self-confidence. To the extent that we believe in ourselves and value our opinions and perceptions, we will be able to defend them without allowing them to be overshadowed or suppressed.
However, assertive behavior is also based on respect for others and tolerance for differences. To the extent that we respect others and accept that it’s possible to think, feel, and hold values differently, we will be able to understand others' positions.
Here are some behaviors that can help you adopt an assertive attitude the next time you face a tense communication situation:
Clear Objectives: Always start interactions with clear goals and objectives, ensuring every exchange benefits achieving those goals. Avoid wasting time and effort on irrelevant differences.
Active Listening: Learn to ask questions and listen. This is perhaps the most important skill for being assertive. We often put more effort into communicating our points of view than into understanding others'. Ask relevant questions to understand how the other person thinks and why. Pay attention to their responses and show active engagement.
Address Conflicts Honestly: Address conflicts and differences without fear. Don’t avoid “the elephant in the room.” Often, we beat around the bush and avoid calling things by their names. The simplest and most effective way for assertive communication is to be clear about points of disagreement. Identify negotiable and non-negotiable conditions, and make sure your counterpart knows which are which.
Empathy: Genuinely try to understand the other person’s perspective. Sometimes, stepping outside our own interests allows us to see middle-ground solutions we hadn’t considered.
Don’t Take It Personally: Avoid interpersonal conflicts at all costs. Don’t offend, and don’t get easily offended. Foster interactions based on trust and mutual respect.
Seek Win-Win Solutions: Aim for agreements that allow both parties to achieve most of their objectives. Negotiate openly and honestly, and always try to establish specific commitments on both sides.
Stand Firm on Fundamentals: Remain firm on points essential to your vision, values, or business interests. If a satisfactory agreement isn’t possible, learn to walk away respectfully. For example, never accept an agreement that compromises your core principles or opposes your goals. Assertiveness also means accepting equally direct and honest responses without conflict.
Document Agreements: Don’t rely on memory or goodwill. Ensure that agreements and commitments are recorded, whether through meeting minutes or an email. It’s vital to have written clarity on agreements and obligations.
Assertiveness is a skill that will open many doors and make your path easier.
Assertive communication can become a tool for success and prevent many conflicts. It’s not only beneficial professionally but also a valuable tool for managing personal relationships with friends, partners, family, or acquaintances. Remember, assertiveness can be learned.